The Unwanted Piles of Flesh


How does it feel to Live when your identity is an abuse, a slang, a filthy & unwanted social animal; When bundles of labels of social crimes are tagged to your body in inheritance. When you have no practical right or opportunity to live, get educated or work with ‘Normal Human Beings’. When your rights are confused under the ampit of Lesbian & Gay rights and ignored as per an oriental state would commonly do. They surely you are a Transgender (Hijra) and you are in Pakistan.

Unfortunately, when Parliamentarians and Human Rights Activists talk about minorities in Pakistan, they generally ignore Gender Minorities, which are, may be not physically, but morally and verbally victims of genocide.

It occurred to me, when I was conducting a survey about “General Public’s behavior with Transgender”, a majority of people simply refused or condemned the survey of such a “dirty” topic. The survey results revealed that a very little fraction of people would accept a transgender to be their classmate, professor, political leader or a part of their social circle.

Continued discrimination and repulsion for the transgender community has left them in poverty and other chronic social evils.Discrimination against them is not structural to a society but largely rooted in how they are perceived as equal members of the society. In most cases, they are widely ridiculed and grossly mocked at even if they try to make efforts towards a decent living for themselves.

As a part of stagnant social stigma about transgenders, they are considered to be synonymous to prostitutes or beggars in most villages and even developed cities. Their settlements are usually away from normal colonies and people consider it a derogatory omen to live among them. Let aside the appointment of transgenders as teachers of children Mughal royals, It is often debated that they are immoral by choice. So, to remove the misconception, lets analyze the situation. Statistics show that more than 90% of transgenders in Pakistan are unable to complete their secondary education; due to poverty and bullying they are unable to complete their pursuit of knowledge. It is evident, how many of you have ever seen a ‘Hijra’ in your classrooms? Or one step further, at your workplace? The prejudice, unacceptability and ridicule never let them reach the level of competing for a job interview. Hence mostly they are left with dancing, singing, prostitution and begging. Breaking the stereotype, first transgender medical doctor in Pakistan ‘Sarah Gill’ is still struggling with fears of social taboos. Sarah started an NGO named “Gender Interactive Alliance” and is working on social media forums for the rights of transgenders, but she could seldom make it to a TV channel or Newspaper headlines.

Despite the rulings of the Apex Court in 2012, that transgenders enjoy all the citizen rights including the right to association and contest in elections, the President of She-male Association, Shahana Abbas who decided to contest elections as MPA from PP-254 Muzaffargarh in 2012 elections, had to turn down his campaign when he couldn’t get support of people except the ones of his own gender. The Court needs to understand, that only recognizing gender on their National Identity Cards isn’t sufficient; the transgender community must be given reserved seats in the National Assembly just like religious minorities, because transgender mostly fail to establish political following (to stand up for their rights) in an environment which doesn’t consider them an able and essential part of it. Furthermore, there is a dire need of laws protecting transgenders from bullying, hate speech, discrimination at workplace and harassing; as most of developed countries offer.

Until we prioritize bringing transgender people into mainstream society, there is little hope for a shift in people’s perceptions and behaviors. Since the Lagislators are overwhelmed with Terrorism, Energy and the political instability, the issue of transgender rights gets pushed to the periphery. NGOs like Youth Parliament are working on Policy options for Transgender rights, but unless the Electronic Media doesn’t run a campaign for raising their public status and rights, the Federal doesn’t seem like paying heed to this issue.

When we talk about tolerance and acceptance of beliefs, ethnicity and races, our society also needs to accept that their is a third gender; merging which under the name of gender conformity would lead to an existential and identical crisis to the community.


A Birthday Wish from my Inner Self to Me

Man With Face in Birthday Cake --- Image by © Stan Fellerman/Corbis

Its been two decades since I have been with you, but it is the first time I thought of wishing you a Happy Birthday, just like your friends do, making you feel proud.
May be it was not a wonderful ride together, but it was surely a crazy and adventurous one; cuddling, but mostly making mischiefs to your life. You are such an unlucky person that Benazir Bhutto (Pakistani Prime Minister), John Leonard (the astronaut), Hafizullah Amin (President of Afghanistan), Zosimus (Pope), Lester Pearson (President of Canada) and Stephen Austin (Founder of Texas) died on the date on which you were born.

I can still remember the childhood days we spent together, staring at every unknown thing, unknown person, far from the normal games and of toddlers; in sheer curiosity and adventure. When you were not afraid of losing anything, no regrets, no bigotry, no hypocrisy, but still tears dripping all over your ugly face. We could discover things together, break them, tear them and someone was always there to fix it.

Since you have grown older, you have developed around you, a “Public impression” which has actually made you bore and rusty.
You have became a big liar; not only to the people around you, but the most, to Me. You know that’s awful. There are truths which you don’t even want me to realize and accept. You are such a coward and shy piece of ****. Remember when uncle used to pretend there was a toffee inside his fist; but when we cried for it, there was nothing inside, he revealed. You, my love, have learnt the lesson very well. The art of decieving, you tell me all men do it.

Your playlists have changed time by time- from classic Indian to rock to pop; from guitar to piano to cello and from Lady Gaga to Ashlee to those ****ing Egyptian musicians. Your ideologies have changed from Naturist to Religious to Semi-Conservative to Pragmatist. You have learnt to speak, then to understand, then to argue. You’ve learnt sticking to cell phone for long hours, trying to make the best out of life. I’ve always been there looking at you, always smiling on all your attempts to break relation with me and become someone who is respected, loved, honored and prestiged in the society; but let me tell you boy, you are too bad at it.

But still You have made hundreds of friends throughout these years, but how many are those who can really understand you? Explore you? Care for you, behind those hollow masks? A few, very few, who could actually get into us, know our relation. And you are still confused whether to distribute all your time over those few or keep a big loose social circle. Don’t you know most of them have only came to wish you birthday because they saw the notification on Facebook, otherwise they don’t pay a shit to what you do. Because they think somewhere in life you would benefit them. Or that you are some badass thing that really matters. But who knows you are the ugly little kid who didn’t know how to wipe a nose. HAHAHA. Okay sorry I’d stay shush, because its ruining your public image, no? Remember you are only all dancing, all singing crap of the world.

A confession. I’ve been tired of your fake and humbug pictures. You actually are a charlatan. Always trying to be someone you actually are not. Always trying to achieve the one Beauty Myth, the one Personality Myth, the one Maturity Myth. Oh yeah, you keep telling me that this is how things go on in your world, this is what people like, eh? But have you ever thought of how I want you to be? What I like and dislike? Let me tell you, you look most beautiful when you are original, your dirtiness is the real beauty.

That’s how your life have evolved, farer from me and nearer to other people.
A score, and I wish many like these, the life you have always loved is going to vanish soon; the clocks are ticking ghastly, so make something good out of it. Something you can be really proud of, something of which humanity can be proud of, something of which I can be proud of. 

Anyways, Happy Birthday dude, thanks for bearing with me somehow.

Your Inner Self.

Two Dead Bodies

manzar-imam-coffin-afp-6708 August 2014, Jinnah Chowk, Multan- two dead bodies were lying on the road, torn and holed with bullets, bathed in blood. Blocking the traffic was a big crowd of passers-by who had stopped to observe a robbed private bank, accompanied by some Police officers who were inspecting the site. On the nooks were some cameras reporting for the massive robbery in the mid of the sunny day, RPO (Regional Police Officer) and SP (Superintendent Police) were assuring to the media to catch the dacoits very soon.

But who were the two dead bodies of? No one was there to mourn for them, all the hustle was in the worry of money stolen from the bank. They were no media attention; for they were not political workers, nor army men, nor lawyers, nor people from any suppressed community. They were private security guards, hired by the Bank administration for security. Dacoits opened free fire on the bank and were resisted by the guards, during the counter attack, they were killed in no time, which lead to robbery of supposedly 60 lacs from the bank.

But there was no one to own these private guards. The robbed money and broken lockers will be re-insured, but the Bank will not fund the orphaned families of the private guards; because they are hired on contract basis from contractor companies. These private guards, who are forced to work due to their financial conditions, are not even paid full wages; most of the times, the 3rd party contractors cut-off half of their salaries, depriving them even from the Lowest wage limit set by the Government. Banks and other companies who hire these guards are reluctant to keep them on permanent basis, and keep them on 2-months contracts basis saving the administration from Labor Law which states that the worker be made permanent employ if he has worked for more than 3 months. But the poor guards are mostly not capable enough to take their plea to court as they are unable to afford the expenditure on judicial procedure.

So the question remains, who is going to own them? Credit them? Or ensure them job security? It is strange how they are not even labelled as “martyrs”, since they are the front targets for any attack on public property; they are actually risking their lives to save the nation from insurgent attacks. Political leaders would not issue monetary grants to their family members. Hundreds of such guards would have died in daily robberies and terrorist attacks, but they would never make it to the headlines. They would only be able to occupy a negligible line at the end of the newspaper report.

Why is their life so invaluable? Why are they not even appreciated for sacrificing their lives for securing the citizens? Why is their blood so cheap?

We as a society, are very immature in choosing and praising our heroes. Just because media doesn’t glorify the valor of the private security guards, they are ignored at mass level and their lives are wasted for nothing.

About Relations


We are always forced to accept the society-told definitions of the relations. This leads to blind conformity to confused descriptions and covered perceptions related to emotions. Most affiliations in our social system are accepted unquestioned; without seeking the origin and aims of these relations. But is it really a taboo to challenge the basis of a relation? Should the relations always be covered under fancy blankets of flowery words like trust, sacrifice, compromise, selflessness and altruism? Can someone actually be selfless? Or is there a more realistic explanation to why relations are formed and why they are maintained?

If we go deep down into the nature of relations, we find out that relations are nothing but a tool to entertain our needs. Necessity is the biggest variable in the human life- All the relations which we make are either our physical, emotional, spiritual or social needs.

Let’s ponder for a moment as to why people are so afraid of being called selfish, money-based and self-centered? A little monetary help for some obvious physical gains is considered to be obnoxious. But the same help done for making some grieved heart heal, is considered to be very kind, pious and self-sacrificing deed. In the first case, the help was offered for Physical Needs; while in the second case, it was done to employ the human instinct to deliberately help others- either for making the target person satisfied, or making the God happy and earning his blessings, which in other words, is the feeding of man’s Emotional and Spiritual Needs. In both cases, man has attempted to fulfill his necessities through the device of relations. In both cases, man was selfish in his deeds; and he always is. Thus selfishness should not be taken as a negative trait, rather a basic human characteristic on which relations are formed.

Shed a light over the most relied relation. Marriage is based on physical and emotional needs. Of course every girl wants a Prince Charming to take her to fairyland, but at the end of the day, the least they want from their spouse is that he earns enough to feed the family, how disfigured he may be. Then why is it horrible to exclaim that “money makes the mare go”? There are requirements, needs and desires which pave the way for this relation, though, sometimes we have to make a choice, compromise and prioritize our requirements. Similarly, the family relations can also be explained on the basis of different emotional and physical needs of humans.

The definition of teenage love, or so-called eternal love on first sight can also be explained easily on the yardsticks of necessity. This refers to one’s emotional need of someone to share everything with, someone who could give time to him, someone who could listen to his foolish talks, someone to admire, someone to trust, someone to feel protected with. Similarly, other forms of love can be referred to the physical needs of man i.e. romance and intercourse.

In a similar fashion, social relations are made on the basis of man’s necessity for tools of survival in a certain society. This may include financial assistance, political shelter, cultural, national & ethnic affiliation, passing sound time together and the list goes on. But the point to brood over is that all these factors signify the basic human requisites.

The origins of relations are supposedly not discussed or challenged to maintain their sanctity, beauty and charisma, but it is the right of each one of our enlightened minds to inquire about the actual foundations of human associations.

Of Lost Culture


They say- evolution is inevitable in cultures and traditions. But sometimes, the new trends are not as charming and enjoyable as the old ones. Sometimes, the forgotten customs actually hold the true spirit and passion, which unfortunately, is abandoned along with them. Such an evolution may better be termed as regression.

Eid cards and Eid poetry are a culture totally forgotten. The eye-catching color schemes and captivating designs used to be the attraction of everyone local and stranger. There was a time when not only children but elders waited anxiously before the eid day for receiving cards from relatives and friends- checking the Post Box repeatedly and restlessly. It was a tool to rejoin hearts between quarreled families and friends. A way of expressing the joy and brilliance of the event. A way to stay put together and to say your heart out. A source of smile for everyone.

The markets used to be filled with hawkers and shopkeepers selling local and imported Eid cards, the grown ups used to get printed hundreds of cards and send them to their colleagues and acquaintances.

The cards reflected the notion that “despite all the anxieties and depressions, everything was alright enough to celebrate Eid with enthusiasm.”

Now, the tradition has almost become extinct.

Electronic-cards and straight way SMS wishes can never compete with the excitement, charm and charisma of the hand made and printed Eid cards filled with poetry tickling down your stomach. The originality is unmatchable.

A few couplets read from Eid Cards:

“sawayyiyan banai hain,
sab ney chakhi hai tum kiyun rotay ho,
tumharay liye bhi rakhi hain”

“23 Ramzan ko ham chatt par jaa bethey,
Agly roz parosi Eid manaa bethey”

“Khatt me likha tha Eid kab hogi, tareekh likh kar bhijwaaen,
Chonkay Jhagra tha, ham ne likh kar bhej dia, aap jab bhi aa jaen”

“Eid Eid karte ho Eid bhi aa jae gi,
Pehle poory rozay rakho, aqal thikaany aa jae gi”

“Eid aayi hai zamanay main
tu kiyun betha hai ghusal khanay main”

“Suno Alfaaz kam hen aur tamannaeyn hazaar
Mubarik hon meri jaanib se tumhen Eid ki khushyaan”

All that left now, is memories.. 🙂

Sneak Out



It was like a new life. As if a new born had open eyes to the world. All the colors were of pure shades enriched with the spell of nature. A new rhythm waved into my heartbeats. The invocation was so intense that it had an effect deep down into my soul. It was 60 days since I had not seen bare stars, and almost a year for a full moon.
The cozy life-style full of air-conditioners, comfy beds and well-furnished rooms has made our world limited not only physically and mentally. Human thoughts are directly dependent upon the abundance of stimuli which effect both the conscious and unconscious brain. Most of us might find it useless so as to concentrate on a crow’s voice or a tree’s hustle; but the reality is that sticking to the same atmosphere, the four-walled castle for days and weeks makes your perceptions stagnant, pressurizes your nerves, lowers your temperament, inculcates abrupt mood swings and rudeness into your behavior and leaves your mind unable to generate rational and innovative ideas.
Let’s admit that ACs relax us when we are sweating, heaters warm us when we are cold, cars give us a secure ride to workplace, water dispensers give us chilled water, but does this mean that we can’t live without these facilities? Not even for some hours?
Admit it or not, most of us, at some time in our lives, are fed up of this monotonous life which gets stinky gradually. Being over-dependent on the luxuries and utilities put a period to the nourishment of a healthy mind and body. It is not about abandoning the modern facilities, it is only about sparing some time to scoot closer to the nature, take deep breath and soothe yourselves.
So, next time when you get exhausted at office, rather than drinking dozen cups of coffee, try sitting near the tulips under the oak.
Next time when you have a headache, before you take aspirin, try walking barefoot over wet grass.
Don’t kick out the adventure from your life.
Next time, try coming out of your matureness masks, and climb up a tree in spring.
Next time before driving home in a rainy day, turn off your engine and get wet in the rain.
Ego rusts wisdom. Kill your ego to enjoy the taste of life.
Next time, try skipping a day from office or school, and visit your old friends and relatives.
Next time, in the middle of a fight with your mate, try cracking a nasty joke.
Next time, try enjoying every festival with its true colors, spirit and passion.
Life is not about enslavement to the environment.
Next time, when you have too much to say, try running out to a wreckage and shout it out loud.
Next time before buying packs of noodles and nuggets, try accompanying your friends into an orchard and eat fresh fruit.
Sneak out sometime from the tedious routine to pacify your mind.
Next time, during load-shedding, before turning ON the generator, spare some minutes to lie down straight under the dark sky and stare at the clouds sliding ahead the moon; feel the scarcity of this universe, adore the serenity of the scene and count the stars, you may never be able to number them; but you sure would get a sound refreshing sleep as never before and wake up with an enlightened mind.

Fotress of solace





The sun has risen up from the dark wilderness.

It looks like a glowing lemon tied in the blanket of the blue sky.

Leaves rustle slowly, bathing in the dew-drops.

Trees seem to dance with the melodious voices of crows & sparrows.

The dawn world is a unique world.

Staring close to every nook and corner, here I am sitting on the footsteps to glory.

A cue of old men jogging slowly on the track.

Struggling against the frail bodies.

And then, the fragile ones get sweat and sit beside.

They pass jokes and chuckle like adults.

Laughing and cheering.

Some telling their stories of teenage when they could lift heavy weights.

Some complaining about the rudeness of their married children.

Some murmuring about the curses of the old age.

Some quoted, “I not love the man less, but nature more”.

But they are happy, sharing the smiles without any purpose.

They don’t fear the approaching thunder, for it has to come for sure.

Far from the restless polluted world, UET stadium is a fortress of solace.

Its wet grass needs some young joggers to press on it.

But I see old & retired only.

Many having scores four and five.

Their shaking heads reflect wisdom.

Their arms tremble, but still embedded with nerves of a lion.

They said that the new eggs are not the men of wisdom.

They said that we lacked the dedication and strength.

They said that we are rotten tomatoes.

They said that we don’t live a life, but pass it.

Were they right?

All Pakistan Environmental Exhibition ’14


Since the beginning of time, Man has been greedy enough to exploit the nature’s resources without any reluctance. He has left no stone unturned in the quest of a better and comfortable life. Taller buildings, massive machinery, wider roads and huge towns have engulfed the face of the Earth. But in doing so, we never hesitated from cutting trees, blowing mountains, killing wild-life, pouring harmful chemicals into rivers and spreading ozone-depleting gases into the air. These factors not only cause a threat to the environment, but the animals, plants, and human-life itself too.

Apart from efforts to eradicate pollution and global warming on mass levels, there is a dire need of making individuals aware of the consequences of environmental pollution. Aiming at this perspective, All Pakistan Environmental Exhibition ’14 focused on inducing critical thinking into people about environment. The whole event circled around the display of symbolic art-work representing the threats to the environment and its solutions.



The journey started with the captivating blue waterfall; the sun-rays blew breath into the tiny life inside water. Frogs, lilies and fish, all seemed like dancing on the mesmerizing hum of the humming birds. A snowy swan stood elegantly, with his long neck, bent to enjoy the greenery of the shrubs around. Across the curvy bridge, a dozen parrots, all bathed in vibrant shades, sat on the fence; these were the true colors of nature, all fresh and original. A mocking jay sat on his sheltered eggs, while the honey bees buzzed towards a distant cluster of butterflies which were transforming into a figure. The figure grew larger and darker. Was there something going to happen? Was it an anticipation of a disaster? A fear ran through the serene lushness of the scenery.

The figure resembled to face of a creature. A creature who was rising from the mud. All Green. Muscular and tanned-skin. His limbs tied to the roots of a tree. Of-course it was a human. His connection to the tree reflected his dependency on nature; His basic needs- water, shelter, air and food, all came from the environment he cared the least about. Gradually, he made his life better and richer, but on the other hand, destroyed the beauty of nature he once admired. He started cutting the roots he was once tied to, unaware of the fact that he was going to suffer from his misdeeds too. It continued. When the time passed, fire erupted on the mother Earth. Global warming spread out on the globe, from melting Antarctica to burning Africa.



This creature suddenly turned into a savage giant; with voracious eyes and a sharp axe on his shoulder; his hunger grown bigger and bigger; to quench his thirst, He turned green trees into logs, blooming flowers into ashes, clean air into smoke, fragrances into rusting odors and transparent water into dirty fluid; and then he laughed; laughed like a devil, as if he had all the treasures of time. And then the spider-webs rusted the place, and there was no way out of this evil-land. The monster was snoring. Darkness spread all around.

This scene horrified me, and I found myself lost in a deep introspection of guilt and self-realization; because after all, I was also a part of this beast, who was slowing growing in all of us. Apparently, most of the people consider the environmental pollution as a secondary or even tertiary problem.

“I don’t need to worry about environment. I got bigger problems”, often people would exclaim.

What worries them more, are salaries, socio-political affairs, business deals, education, family life and other issues. Let’s admit the significance of these factors in one’s life; but at the end of the day, who wants to inhale smoky air into his lungs? Who wants to drink contaminated water? Who wants to have a home on a barren land having no trees? Who doesn’t like to sit in the cool shade of the trees? Who wants to see crops at his farm dying? Who wants to get struck by floods, storms and hurricanes originating from global warming? Of-course no one. Isn’t it ironic that still we need development on the cost of destroying environment?

In the nick of time, I was buzzed by a completely different sight. A wiry person was firing “Green bombs” to the rotten and barren land through his catapult; it was the demonstration of the efforts of some rightful men, who were determined to restore the fascinating glory of the mother Earth.
In the status-quo, due to the excessive use of paper, plastic and tin canes have increased the environmental pollution exponentially; and on the other hand, it has created a more a major need of cutting trees. To minimize this problem, where on one hand we need to focus on planting more trees; the most efficient solution lies in recycling the resources. The model showed the recycling industry at work; and surprisingly, all the models and art-works in the exhibition were created by recycled paper, straws and plastic; as a symbolic representation, EHS was taking practical steps towards a better and less-polluted environment.



Man has the potential to save the environment, as well as destroy it. It is up-to him, if he makes this world a paradise, or let it rot in abyss. When finally, I stepped outside the auditorium, I began my journey of being a savior of the nature.

  “Lets go green to get our globe clean.”






Boy (on phone): “I miss you.”
Girl: “how much do you miss me?”
Boy: “too much.”
Girl: “How much is this too much?”
Boy: “Umm. Indescribable.”

..And it leads to a puzzling and ambiguous conversation.

For centuries, couples and friends have been stuck on the issue if there is a way to count how much someone is missing you. Some may say, “Higher than the sky and deeper than the ocean”; or “This much” (referring to opened arms); or “more than anything”; or “I love you right up to the moon.
Having no units or scale for missing, this discussion never seems reasonable. But now, for the first time in history, we are trying to introduce a realistic approach to emotions.

“Melta” is described as: “The intensity of distraction felt while doing something due to thoughts of a specific person or thing.” Melta is referred to as the entity of missing someone, and is described in the units of Melta. It may be seeming idiotic to make a definition like that, unless we describe the mathematical formula for Melta:

Melta= (Importance of work you’re doing while being distracted) X (distraction time)

Where importance of work is described in terms of a constant units ranging from 0-100, and distraction time has units of time (second).

Here, we need to understand the significance of this formula. We need to keep in mind the fact that if you miss someone while doing an essential task (e.g. Office work, study), you are definitely missing that person much more than when you are free and resting. Because during passive hours, your mind has random thoughts of people and things around you; hence there are more chances that you had arbitrarily landed on someone’s memory, than actually missing them.

So when one says, “I’s missing you 500 Melta while studying”, he needs to be clear about the importance of studying for him; thus some other person can miss his special one to a value of 1000 Melta, because studies are more significant to him.

Secondly, more the distraction time, more is the density of thoughts about someone special, which consequently leads to larger value of Melta.

One thing should be mentioned here, that the value of Melta is entirely relative. Because only a person himself can know about the significance of the work he is doing. Moreover, environmental factors like weather, music, or other things which can make you recall a specific person and hence trigger the intensity of missing someone. But for a certain instantaneous value of Melta, these factors are considered constant.

Next, we need to know about the extreme values of Melta, so as to familiarize with the usage of this unit:

  • When you are not missing a person, Melta=0. This states the lower extreme.
  • The ideal extreme we can think of is Melta=Infinity. This is when you actually DIE while missing someone. But this is an ideal case, doesn’t normally occur in real world, except in folk tales.
  • The maximum practical value of Melta=100000 M. This is the case when you can’t eat, sleep or work, due to the thoughts of your special one; adding to that, you torture yourself physically; and confine yourself to lonely world of you and your target, leading to a mental disorder.

Having this unit in hand, you don’t need to utter flowery metaphors and baseless philosophies while describing someone how much you miss them. The targeted person can now have a realistic and definite consideration of the intensity of thoughts you have for them. Therefore, this explanation and unit facilitates the real essence of relationships, which is, understanding each-other better.

In future, we can aim for the thoughtful explanations of the other emotions like love, happiness and sadness, and find the units to describe their intensity.